Barney: Nice guys finish last. I know, I went through it. Little Vickie Harms. I wasn't no bigger than Opie. I met her over by the ice cream parlor. Stepped outside one day with my raspberry snow cone, there she was. She just stopped me cold. Head to foot, I was just clammy all over. I knew it was love. Icy chills just run all over me.

Andy: Sounds to me more like your show cone was leaking.

Barney: Boy I sure did like her.

Andy: She didn't like you back, huh?

Barney: Oh well no, it wasn't that so much. I don't know. It was mostly her stuck up attitude.

Andy: Yeah?

Barney: She used to walk around in long curls and print dresses and patented leather shoes and her nose up in the air. Boy she really thought she was hot stuff.

Andy: Why?

Barney: Oh her Daddy was in the civil service. Boy if I knew then what I know now. She used to do one thing that really used to burn me up.

Andy: What was that.

Barney: Well you know how I like snow cones...

Andy: Raspberry.

Barney: Right. Well there wasn't a day went by that I didn't offer that girl a bite of my snow cone. You know what she used to do every single time?

Andy: What?

Barney: She used to bite off the end, sip out all the syrup, and leave me with nothing but the ice.

Andy: The ice?

Barney: Yeah, the ice.

Andy: That's terrible.

Barney: Yeah.

Andy: Today you'd know different.

Barney: Oh are you kidding. Listen if I had a date with Vickie Harms today, and I got myself all shaved, and I went over to her house with my snow cone, you know what I'd do?

Andy: What?

Barney: The minute she opened that door, I bite off the end of the cone, sip out the syrup, and hand her the ice. What do you think of that?

Andy: Well I'll tell you the truth, Barn. If I was Vickie Harms and a thirty-five year old man come up to my house with a snow cone in his hand, I wouldn't even answer the door.

Thanks for all the laughs, Don. Rest in peace.